In the name of love

Once again, this has nothing to do with any song, although U2 does have an amazing song with a similar title.  Pride (In the name of love).

This, however, refers to my current situation and the different sides of the road being travelled.

As I have posted before, I applied for a full time job at HALF PRICE BOOKS, as Jenn.  This is a job that I would love to have, not just because working as my true self would be amazing, but that I love books. My wife and I own over 3,000 bound titles, plus some on the Kindle.  We are avid readers and, in my opinion, well read people are more open to the differences of others.

She has expressed pure delight in the possibility of me getting work as Jenn.  An expression of delight that my happiness will begin.  Working will start the journey along the life changing road.  She knows this, and yet she puts my happiness above the love in our marriage.

It is pretty amazing to think that her love is so strong that she would rather see my life progress as it should than to remain in a marriage where I turn aside what I know I must do to keep our relationship intact.

I guess our love is equal.  I would be willing to remain incomplete just as she is willing to continue incomplete (not being pompous here).  We wish the other so much happiness in life that we are both willing to sacrifice something important to ourselves in order to see the other attain, or maintain, their bliss.

Many people can’t seem to wrap their heads around this concept, on both sides, but I assure you that is the level of love and dedication that my wife and I hold for one another.

She knows where this will lead.  She has said that she will leave once the transition journey begins, but remain my closest friend and ally.  I will lose many friends and family along the way, but it is good to know I will not truly lose my wife.  I love her dearly and that would devastate me.

About Jennifer

She grew up in an Indiana town Had a good-lookin' mama who never was around But she grew up tall and she grew up right With them Indiana boys on them Indiana nights Well, there are partial truths above. Being from Indiana, I did grow up in an Indiana town. I did not have a good lookin mama, but she was always around.'I did not grow up tall, but I suppose I grew up right. I spent lots of time with Indiana boys on Indiana nights. It's because I was one. Still am in some ways. Certainly not in others. My transitional journey has begun. Goodbye to my male self and hello to this wonderfully feminine world in which I was meant to live. At the age of 45, I am beginning my true journey to self and home.
This entry was posted in It's Personal, Transgender Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to In the name of love

  1. And i’ll be right there with you too. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s