Many Thanks

This is the time of year when everyone seems to be giving thanks for just about everything, even bedbugs. I never partook in this.

As I look back, now, I see that it was a mistake of mine. I look back at what I had, but took for granted. I am thankful, for a great many things.

I am thankful for being born into an amazing family. A family of love and support. Like all families, it wasn’t always what you would view as ideal, but that’s what makes families special. With the revelation of this to everyone but my great aunt (just turned 95), I have been shown exactly how deeply that love and support is rooted. I have no idea how my brother feels about this, but from everyone else, I seem to be getting that unconditional love that we all dream about and some of us are lucky enough to have. My parents have been truly amazing as well, over this past year.

I am thankful for the family I help build. The strength of marriage is based on love, compassion and communication. Those are also the things that can make the institution dissolve. Our love for one another was so strong that we could not bear to see the other one hurt, to be without their dreams and deserved happiness, even at the cost of our own. The compassion that we share is tied to the above statement. I could not stand to see her hurt by all of this, so I stated that if she wanted me to stop, I would. She couldn’t stand to see me possibly hurt by denying this path. It was our open communication, throughout our 22 years of marriage that even led to this ultimate journey and dissolution of a strong marriage. But she doesn’t like girls, so there’s no ill feelings.

I am thankful for friends. Some of you have been in my life for most of my 47 years. Some a couple decades, some a few years and even some a few months and some I have never actually met. I am thankful for all of you. You are my strength, even when you applaud me for my own. You have all added so much to my life through kind words and actions. I’m still best friends with my ex-wife, and for that I am truly thankful.

I am also thankful for every single occurrence in my life, both good and bad, because they have helped shape me into the person I am today. I’m far from perfect. I’m scarred. I’m flawed. I’m full of self doubt at almost everything I do. But even that is part of who I am and something I am learning to embrace, but also change. A little self doubt and humility are an essential part of being.

So I am thankful this season, for a great many things. And I am grateful to all of you, my beloved friends and family.

About Jennifer

She grew up in an Indiana town Had a good-lookin' mama who never was around But she grew up tall and she grew up right With them Indiana boys on them Indiana nights Well, there are partial truths above. Being from Indiana, I did grow up in an Indiana town. I did not have a good lookin mama, but she was always around.'I did not grow up tall, but I suppose I grew up right. I spent lots of time with Indiana boys on Indiana nights. It's because I was one. Still am in some ways. Certainly not in others. My transitional journey has begun. Goodbye to my male self and hello to this wonderfully feminine world in which I was meant to live. At the age of 45, I am beginning my true journey to self and home.
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1 Response to Many Thanks

  1. androguyandcat says:

    this is an awesome post that makes me happy and that I’m so glad to read this morning!

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