The Epic Poem Strikes Back


Another epic disaster, I mean, poem


ENTRY 114: April 24, 2007   I had been asked how long it took to write these.  When I sat and figured up the time spent, it was about 40 hours per poem.  They rocked then, but I see where things needed to be tightened up now. But I won’t.  This was my voice 7 years ago.

Life was different.  I worked for a PBS station in Muncie, Indiana and did not think I would ever lose that job.  I owned a house in Yorktown.  I was married.  Life was good and full of promise.


The Death Star Destroyed

The Rebellion on track

They fled to an ice planet

Till the Empire Struck Back


On Tauntauns they searched

For a clear sign of doom

Through space the Probes swept

Though not with a brrom


“A meteor hit over there

Han, I’ll go check it out

I’ll be back. I’ll be fine.

I don’t have any doubt.”


“You’re jumpy. You’re edgy.

Do you smell something girl?”

Then a growl and a roar

Luke went down with a whirl.


“Has anyone seen Luke, sir

The princess needs to know.

It seems that our master

May be lost in the snow.”


“I’ll go out on my Tauntaun”

Han snapped as he yelled

“You’ll freeze out there, Solo.”

“Then I’ll see you in hell!”


Luke awoke in an ice cave

With something not right

He was hung upside down

His lightsaber in sight


As he squirmed and he struggled

The creature came to do harm.

Luke force grabbed his saber

And cut off Wampa’s arm


Out to the ice fields

Luke ran once again

When appearing before him

A clear vision of Ben.


“Go to Dagobah

Look for Yoda, of course

He’s teh one who trained me

He can teach you the force.”


As the vision did pass

Han came over the hill

He found Luke in the snnow

Lying rather too still.


“You can’t leave me out here

C’mon Luke give me a sign

We gotta get back to base

Before we run out of time.”


With his Tauntaun now dead

Han sliced through its hide

“I thought that these things

Smelled bad on the outside!”


The rescue commenced

Now the Snowspeeders tried

“Captain Solo, do you read me?”

“Nice of you guys to drop by!”


“We’ve heard from our Probe Droids

A fractal report.”

The Rebels are there,

No need to retort.”


“Set a course for Hoth

To that system we’ll go

Do they think they can hide

On that planet of snow?”


Luke healed in the Bacta

A kiss from his sis.

Han had argued about feelings

Boy he really was……mad.


They tracked down the probe

it was blasted to bits

If the Empire is coming

This is really the pits.


“We slowed way to soon

No they know we are here.

He was clumsy and stupid

You’re in charge General Veers.”

The Empire is coming coming

We’ll have to retreat.

We have a good army

But if we stay we’ll be beat”


“Off to your ships

The ssnowspeeders will fight”

The size of the AT-ATs

Showed the Empires full might


Armor too strong for blasters

The Force help us, we beg.

“Use your tow cables

And go for their legs!”


Some machines were brought down

But the battle not won.

“The command center’s been hit

Let’s get to the Falcon!”


To the rendezvous point

All the Rebels did head

“Set a new course, R-2

We’re going to Dagobah instead.”


The fleet got away

And the Falcon did too

But the Falcon’s the ship

Vader chose to pursue.


“I’ll engage Hyperdrive.

Leave the Imps in our dust.

OK. Punch it Chewie

Or the escape is a bust.”


“The Hyperdrive’s busted

I was trying to say

But you just wouldn’t listen

You pushed me away.”


The Imperials were gaining

Their tractor beam primed.

“We’ll fly through the asteroids

To buy us some time.”


“They’d be crazy follow

But we can’t stay here long

You said you wanted to be there

When I was finally wrong.”


“That one looks good.”

Han scouted a hole.

“A crater to hide in.”

So he plunged down below.


A long narrow cave

Away from Imp eyes.

“This rocks not too sturdy

Do you think this was wise?”


Back out to Luke

As he tried hard to land

With a water soaked entry

He craved Tatooine sand


To get up to shore

Through the swamp he did go

When R-2 fell in

Something pulled him below


It spat him back out

Through the air the droid flew

If you recall, I said,

Be Careful, R-2.”



That’s all for now. My brain hurts. Also, I had to delete several blogs because I maxed out. I will archive them and add a link later.



The EpicPire Strikes Back…poem part 2


ENTRY 115: April 25, 2007


Empire continued…..


“Bounty hunters on board

We don’t need their slime.

We can catch this space pirate

We just need more time.”


On the planet that bubbled

Like a great giant soda

Luke spun round to see

Our cute little Yoda

(note: thanks Weird Al)


“A great Jedi Master

I am here to find

I don’t want any food

UGH! You’re wasting my time!”


With each passing bomber

The cave shook as before

“Lord Vader, you now must

Contact….THE Emperor


A blast sent the Princess

To the arms of Solo

The droid breaks up a kiss

“Great! Thanks 3-PO!”


“What is they bidding,

Shall we plaot a new course?”

“This young one. Skywalker.

Is strong in the Force.”


“Turn him we must

Or destroy us he’ll try.”

“He will join us, my master,

Join us or die!”


“The boy has no patience

Teach him I can not.”

“I, too, was impatient

Or do you recall not?”


“Ben, I can do this

Tell him it’s so!”

“Hmm. I will decide who to train

Or let go.”


“I’m not afraid

Yoda, you are mistaken.”

“You will be. You will be.

When to the tree you are taken.”


As Han fixes the ship

Leia lets out a yell.

“There’s something outside!

What it is, I can’t tell!”


“Looks like a Mynock.

They chew on the wire.

Without any power

Our problem’s more dire.”


“The ground in this cave

Seems much softer than rock.”

Han shoots at the ground.

The cave sends out a shock.


“In to the Falcon

Let’s all get aboard.

Chewie fire up the engines

While I close the door.”


“The cave! It’s collapsing!”

Leia started to squirm.

“This ain’t no cave, sweetheart,

It’s a giant space worm!”


Out of the frying pan

In to the fire.

They escape the Space Slug

And Now here’s the Empire.


Luke’s miniscule Master

Taught him to make rocks float.

But Luke lost concentration

His ship sank in the moat.


“Do this, my young one”

“OK, Well I’ll try.”

“Do or Do Not.

You doubt, but tell why.”


“The ships far too big.

Yoda, open your eyes!”

“I’ll get it out

Judge me not by my size.”


The little green elf

Stretched his arm out once more.

He lifted the X-Wing,

Brought it safely to shore.


“I don’t believe it!

Yoda!” Luke yelled

“That is your problem.

That’s why you failed.”


“A reward for the Falcon

By any means that you will

But no disintefrations,

I want proof of the kill.”


“Is that understood.

Mainly you, Boba Fett.

If there is no body

No reward will you get.”


“We have him, Lord Vader

He’s there, just ahead.”

“Then cripple the ship

I’d rather nopt have them dead.”


“He’s turning to attack us

He’s coming head on!

Hurry! Shields up!”

“Uh, um, Captain…’s gone.”


“They can’t have a cloaker

But they’ve nowhere to hide!”

He had not a clue

The ship stuck to their side.


Hans plan worked out great

The Imps opened the latch

Then Solo let loose

The Falcon his in their trash.


“We’re in a tight spot

Of that there’s no doubt.

We need to find a close system

Where we can go and hide out.”


“This one looks good

A city up in the sky

Run by a buddy named Lando

He’s your kind of guy.”


They fired up the engines.

Took off like a jet.

What they hadn’t noticed

Was the sly Boba Fett.


A Tibana Gas Mine

Was Lando’s ne place

“Sure buddy. Hang here.

I’ve got plenty of space.”


“We’ll fix up your ship

Have you fast on your way.

Unless I could get you

To hang out and stay.”


“An R2 unit?

I just love that sound~

No! Wait! Don’t get up!”

3-PO’s heads on the ground.


“Inside this tree

The Dark Side you’ll know.

Leave your weapons out here

Then inside must you go.”


“I trust you, Yoda

But I’ll feel much safer

With my weapons at hand

Or at least my lightsaber.”


Down past the roots

To a hollowed out crater.

It was here that Luke came

Face to face with Darth Vader!


That’s it for today. I’ll try to finish it up tomorrow. This one might end up being longer than the first. YIKES!



The E(m)picPire Strikes Back Poem conclusion


ENTRY 116: April 26, 2007


Luke ignited his saber

And cut Vader’s head off.

But what Luke saw next

Made him shake, gasp and cough.


The mask broke apart

And there in it’s place

Was a sight so disturbing,

Luke saw his own face.


“3-P-O’s been gone

Far too long to be lost.

Sure Lando accepted us

But I’m not sure the cost.”


“Something’s not right

I’m not sure what it is…”

Then the door slid wide open

With a swoosh and a whiz.


It was Chewie with 3-PO

“He was found in the trash?

Chewie had to grab Goldenrod

And make a mad dash.”


Then Lando came in.

“Please join me for drinks.

Look around our fair city.

Let me know what you think.”


“Is your droid quite ok?

He’s in quite a few pieces.

Looks like he blew up

With those cuts, dents and creases.”


“You run a good business

Right down to the letter.”

“And I’ve made a nicec deal

To keep the Imps out forever.”


The door slid wide open

As fast as was able

There was Darth Vader

At the end of the table.


I had no choice

They arrived just before you.”

“Yeah Lando. I know.

And I’m sorry too.”


Han fired off a shot.

Vader glanced it away.

“Fett and I would be honored

Come. Sit down and stay.”


“My friends are in trouble

This one thing I know.

I must leave and save them.

I simply must go!”


“Save them you could

But their futture’s not clear.

Destroy what they fought for

If you go and leave here.”


“They’ll die if I stay here.

Through torture and pain.

I swear when I finish,

I’ll come back here to train.”


“Luke it’s too soon.

You’re in terrible danger.

Don’t go to the Dark Side.

Don’t give in to anger.”


On toture devicecs

Han screamed out in pain.

“Don’t harm him, no Vader,

Or my bounty’s in vain.”


“The pain, it is great

With no harm or loss.

If he dies on the table

We’ll cover your cost.”


As Luke flies away

We learn of another.

Is there something unkown?

Is Luke a Big Brother?


“Chewbacca and Leia

Can stay in this city.

If I leave a garrison here

It would sure be a pity.”


“This deal’s getting worse

But what can I do?

Ah, Lobot, go hide

And wait for my cue.”


Lando and Han

Get in to fisticuffs.

“Thanks Lando. O’l buddy.

You’ve done quite enough.”


“The one Vader wants

Is not even you.

He wants some Skywalker

And he’s here right on cue.”


“This chamber’s for freezing

It could hurt Skywalker or worse.”

“I don’t want my prize damaged

So I’ll test Solo first!”


“Bring in the captive

Into carbon he’ll go.

“Oh, Han, I love you.”

Han just said, “I know.”


With a wheeze and a hiss

Down into the pit.

3-PO said, “It’s quite safe

Though freezing’s the tough bit.”


“He is allive

And he’s at perfect rest.”

“Lead Skywalker to this place.

He’ll have a grand test.”


“Take the Wookiee and Princess

On out to my ship.”

“That wasn’t the bargain!

Man! What a jip!”


Like caught sight of Leia.

“Get out! It’s a trap!”

Then he saw Han’s body.

“Man what is all this crap?”


All through the city

Thoughts swirl in Luke’s head.

Will Leia be all right?

Is Han Solo dead?


Through closed and locked doors

Luke is led to the chamber.

He senses Lord Vader.

He senses the danger.


As the battle begins

Luke gets caught off guard.

Vader starts up the freezing.

“This wasn’t that hard.”


“Obi-Wan could not teach you

Enough to be strong.

Hmmm, you’re not in the pit.

Something is wrong.”


“Seems though, he taught you

To control your fear.

You still have to fight me

So get back down here.”


Down on his wrist

Lando pushes some buttons.

Lobot and the guards

Jump out with their weapons.


“I know it’s quite late

But I’ll do what I can.

There still might be a chance

We can go and save Han.”


As they run through the halls

3-PO sees R-2.

“My heads put on backwards

There’s no thing wrong with you!”


In to the ship

Went Solo and Fett.

Despite shooting at him

Away he did get.


“We got here too late

And now he is gone.”

“If we hurry we can still

Get to the Falcon.”


“Your hatred brings power.

Of this you’ll soon see.

You’ll need all your anger

If you hope to beat me.”


“Your anger. Now use it!

Strike hard as you can!”

Luke fell from his mark.

Vader cut off his hand.


“Obi-Wan was too caring

That’s really too bad.

Did he ever tell you

What went down with your dad?”


“He told me enough

So don’t even bother.”

“But I’ll bet he never told you

That I was your father.”


“That isn’t true!

It just cannot be!”

“Search you feelings, my son,

And soon you will see.”


“Join me and we’ll rule

This Galaxy far and wide.

I can take out the Emperor

With you at my side.”


“I’ll never join you!”

Then Luke shouted, “NOOOooo!”

He fell from the platform

To the vents down below.


Vader just stared

“Now what a disaster.”

What would happen to him

When he told HIS Master.


When they got to the Falcon

They had a small fight.

“What’s that R2?

The ship’s not fixed right?”


“That isn’t true.

It’s fixed. Lando said.

Now let’s get on board

And fix me up instead.”


Luke fell through a shaft

And hehld tight to a vent.

Was Vader lying?

Did he say what he meant?


Luke called with the Force

Trying hard to reach Ben.

But instead of Kenobi

We see Vader again.


“He can no longer help you

But I can, my son.

Hang on a bit longer.

I’ll save you. I’ll come.”


“Please hear me Leia.

I was such a dope.

Now I need you, please,

You’re my only hope.”


“Luke’s still alive!

We have to turn back!

Go up and get him

Through the top hatch!”


“I got him! He’s safe!

Get out of this place!

We’ll punch in the settings

And hit hyperspace!”


“If we hit it right now

We’ll excape by a hair.

What?! They fixed it!

This just isn’t fair!”


R-2 get back here

You won’t fix it right!

Oh my! You did it!

I should have held on tight!”


A replacement hand

Works as good as it can.

“May the Force be with you.

We’re off to save Han.”


The falcon takes flight

And we wish we could stay.

in this galaxy we love

So far, far away.

About Jennifer

She grew up in an Indiana town Had a good-lookin' mama who never was around But she grew up tall and she grew up right With them Indiana boys on them Indiana nights Well, there are partial truths above. Being from Indiana, I did grow up in an Indiana town. I did not have a good lookin mama, but she was always around.'I did not grow up tall, but I suppose I grew up right. I spent lots of time with Indiana boys on Indiana nights. It's because I was one. Still am in some ways. Certainly not in others. My transitional journey has begun. Goodbye to my male self and hello to this wonderfully feminine world in which I was meant to live. At the age of 45, I am beginning my true journey to self and home.
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